Sunday, January 2, 2011

Another year begins

I apologize for the time it's been since my last post.  As a novice blogger, I don't always feel like there is much to say.  So unless something of consequence happens, I'm not always led to write.  I do feel like it is time for an update, however. 

Christmas was loads of fun.  My husband's family was visiting from CO and I loved having family around.  Logan really enjoyed ripping the paper off all the gifts.  I think he enjoyed the paper more than his presents.  But none the less, the joy of a little boy in the midst of discovery was so fun to watch!  I unfortunately, was rather ill on Christmas day, but I sucked it up long enough to open presents.  The rest of the day was spent in and out of conciousness on the couch. 
A couple of days after Christmas I took him in to be weighed (as instructed by our nutritionist).  He finally hit the 15 lbs mark!  Hallelujah!  He still isn't registering on the weight scale for his age, but at least it looks like he's starting to catch up.  We will hear the rest of the CF team's thoughts at clinic this month which i believe is the 11th. 
Also during the holidays, there was a cold that went through our house.  The cough has stuck around for Logan so i'm calling tomorrow to see if they will see us before clinic.  I am concerned about this one.  It sounds really wet, it's not very productive, and he's had it for almost 2 weeks.  Better safe than sorry. 
Aside from that, not much has happened.  I got some great new dance clothes and some awesome (much needed and desired) new kitchen utensils for Christmas and my other present I am getting on Friday and I will post pictures when I get it!  Just know that i am super excited about it. 

Reflecting back on 2010 I have mixed feelings.  I was the most incredible and the most painful year of my entire life.  I have never felt more fufilled that I do as a mother.  I have never had more love in my heart than I do now for my husband and my son.  And yet the entire year (post Logan's birth) all seems shadowed by a hovering dark cloud called Cystic Fibrosis.  Since the first moment we found out about CF, that cloud has been hovering over my head.   I'm just waiting for it to start dumping on me.  I just wish I had an umbrella...  But what I do have is the love of an incredible man, the adoration of my perfect child, and the continuous support of a loving savior that carries me when I am weak.  I am constantly moved by the love and support of the other people I have encountered that are affected by this disease.  There are mothers (and fathers) that have had to be much stronger than I, and if you are one of those parents and you are reading this, I am so sorry that your child suffers.  GOD BLESS YOU CONNER J!!!  YOU'RE WITH US STILL!!!  If you are a Cyster or a Fibro, you are my heroes.  I am so sorry that there is not more that can be done to lessen your suffering but if is because of you that I still have my head above water.  You are all inspirations to me and without you I would not have the hope for Logan, and his future, that I do.

Alright... well i'm crying now and that's not how I wanted to end this.  Sometimes I feel so strong and sometimes I feel so incredibly weak.  But that is not what I wanted this post to be about.  So...  I hope that you all had a Merry Merry Christmas and that Christ was the center of it.  I also hope that your new year brings you love, prosperity, and peace that passes all understanding.  I am looking forward to my continued journey as a parent and a wife and I hope that I am prepared to face whatever 2011 has in store for me.  

A reflection of 2010